A Tale of Two Towns: Searching for the “Other”

By Christy Corp-Minamijji

I have two hometowns, a couple thousand miles apart.

This morning I dropped my son off at his high school – his bike is broken. The rainy morning scene was almost aggressively normal – the patient loop of cars through the parking lot, waving each other on through our windshield wipers; helmet-wearing teens biking in through the exit – latte cups in one hand, steering with the other. Just another “late start” Wednesday.

In my part time hometown, FBI agents have cordoned off the park where we walk the cockatoo. They’re in the coffee kiosk that always knows our order. They’ve asked my partner twice whether he knew the bomber.

This is a tale of two towns.

I know my friends in Davis, CA will read the news this morning of the “Austin Bomber” and think there must have been “something” to make him do those horrible things. Perhaps his upbringing. His family. His friends. Maybe he had no friends. Maybe it’s because he grew up in Texas. Maybe he was secretly radicalized by people who would never find footing in our liberal CA enclave. And perhaps some of those things are true. But, the last sentence isn’t. Let me tell you about Pflugerville, TX.

Pflugerville is a suburb and bedroom community of Austin. It rejoices (too much) in its weird Pf spelling. You can see signs for Pflugerville Pfast Cars, the Dolpfin Car Wash, the Pflugerville Pfun Pfest. (There are more, but I’ll spare you.) Like Davis, it has vast stretches of bike paths and greenbelts, thoughtfully designed city parks, a largely respectful and friendly police force, city council members who seem to know EVERYONE. Like Davis, there is a broad population of homeschoolers.

Supposedly the bomber was one of those.

He may have volunteered at an historical reenactment site where I’ve spent time – I know several of the Board members personally. It’s the sort of place frequented by families, homeschoolers, Waldorf and Montessori types, Girl Scouts, and Boy Scouts. For my California friends, think of Sutter’s Fort or Indian Grinding Rock State Parks. Maybe Columbia State Park.

Earlier this week, I got into a mild debate on a friend’s Facebook page about school shootings. Someone commented that the one thing ALL shooters had in common was a dysfunctional family, lack of a strong father figure. I asked for references; he couldn’t provide them, but he *knew* it was true.

This is what we do when tragedy strikes. We look for the other. The thing we think we can prevent – family life, hometown atmosphere, religion, friendships or lack of, bullying, mental illness, ethnicity, sexuality, something to make the perpetrator “different.”

Not long ago, my son and I were talking about parenting, teen life, and my anxiety. I said to him “I worry more about you than your sisters. It’s not fair, but it is still something I struggle with.”

Naturally he wanted to know why.

I said, “Because you are a white, cis, hetero (these are how he currently identifies) male.”

He replied, knowing the stats of his privileges, “But that makes me safer than most people.”

I said, “Yes. And that’s part of the problem. It also puts you squarely in the most dangerous demographic. You are of the group most likely to be a rapist or a mass murderer or abuser.”

Now, do I believe my kid will be any of these things? Of course not. He fucks up on occasion, but he is basically a loving, protective young man with a strong sense of responsibility and honor.

But, I also know there is no magical formula that makes his father and I different from the parents of any school shooters or the Austin bomber, or Dylan Roof, or, or, or….

We try our best. We love our kids. We hope that our best is good enough. But, we can’t, any of us, ever be fooled into thinking “It could never happen here.” “It couldn’t happen to us.” “We are different.” “Our town is different.”

If things are to change, each of us must start by recognizing that we – our families, our friends, our neighbors – are all the devil, all the angels, and all in this together. Scapegoating, blaming, discriminating, pointing fingers, none of this protects anyone.